So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
