You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Damn victory sex feels great
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
