but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize