so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
