There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
