did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize