Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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