people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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