I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
