My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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