im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
