im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think people are normalizing furries
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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