never play flip cup with pint glasses
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
