Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
