Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
