So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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