omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
