I feel like abortions should bother me more
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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