wat bout pragnant strippers??
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
