just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
