Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
