i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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