I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
