why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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