you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
