dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
