How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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