I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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