Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
