I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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