Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
