somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
