So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
