I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
