i don't like sucking hair
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
