my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
