I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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