everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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