Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
foreskin is a definite game changer
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize