Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
