We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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