It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
