Don't you send me to vm
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
