Tell her she can't have a vagina
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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