It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
