I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
