Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Randomize
