I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
