Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
