your room smells of hookers.
And success
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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