You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
