So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
