This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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