I accidentally burped into my bong.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
