What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
