looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Success! We fucked roommates!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
