she sounds like chewbacca in bed
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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