There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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