I cockslap morals
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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