Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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