the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It all started with a game of naked twister.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
