Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize