We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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