remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
