Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
