Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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