This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
