I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
