when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
