omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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