Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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