my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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